It's another sleepless night. This is nothing unusual. If it's not me who is sleepless, it's hubby. But lately, it's all me.
Initially I thought it was the stress of the last 14 months. Tonight, I realized that it is my upcoming PRK surgery. I really should be more excited and less scared than I am. The Doctor performing my surgery has done 14 THOUSAND Lasik and PRK surgeries including the first ones done on Air Force pilots. But I am afraid.
My job growing up was the worrier. I have carried that job into adulthood. I am worried about the pain, that I will have halos, that I will move during the procedure and screw up my vision forever. Most of all, I am terrified of blindness. Irrational, I know, but I just can't turn my brain off since I made the decision to have PRK done.
I think one of the reasons I am so afraid is that a friend has Sjogren's and she told me that your eye has FIVE THOUSAND nerve endings! She did this because she had torn her cornea off as a result of her Sjogren's and I was asking her about recovery and getting her vision back. Come to find out, the treatment she has been enduring is much the same for the PRK recovery as they remove the cornea completely. The Doctor will place a contact on each of my eyes as a "bandaid" while the cornea grows back. But, should the contact move or become dislodged... You guessed it, those FIVE THOUSAND nerve endings come in to play. Ignorance truly is bliss.
I really need to stop worrying about this. I need to remember to count my blessings that this opportunity has been afforded to me, free of charge. via the Wounded Warrior Project because I am caregiver to my husband. I need to count my blessings that my Doctor is so experienced. (Even though he is a University of Michigan fan and I am a dyed in the wool Michigan State fan. This is a fact I have chosen not to share with him until AFTER the procedure. Ha!) I need to relax, let my mint tea do it's job and get to sleep.
Off topic, I discovered that I could not sign into Pinterest unless my Facebook was activated. Grrrr.... So I adjusted my notifications and wall settings so that it is as if I am deactivated, but I am not. I just won't get the notifications nor will anyone be able to post to my wall except for on the post I made tonight. I let people know I was unplugging and hadn't deleted them. As I said last night, I am enjoying the peace and quiet and I am not ready to give that up at this point.
Good night all, I am back to watching infomercials and drinking tea in hopes that I can get some sleep.
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1 comment:
My hubby had PRK. He was almost legally blind. He sees great now. I took care of him after his surgery only a few months after we met. Don't be alarmed at the smell. It smells like burnt hair and take your pain pills. He wouldn't take them and then he'd be in pain. Go figure. He was one of the first done at Ft. Campbell when they opened the new clinic. It will be great as you have an experienced Dr. He sees better than me now and I have perfect vision.
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